Last year a friend of mine told me he thought I was a perfectionist. That was never a word I would use to describe myself, I always felt like I was pretty laid back about most things. He proceeded to tell me that I probably had a lot of unfinished projects lying around (which was true) and that having a lot of unfinished projects was one sign of a perfectionist. The idea is that you want so badly for things to be perfect that you never finish because you're afraid it won't get to the level that it needs to be. This really struck me, was I a perfectionist? All of this times I had been saying that my projects were not complete because I wanted them to be done properly; I wanted them to look professional.
Now, here I am year later and this is something that I can't get out of my head. I have to question myself to make sure that my meticulous work is because I want my projects to be professional, and not just because something hasn't reached my highest (possibly unreachable and unreasonable) standards.
I'm kind of embarrassed to say how many projects I haven't completed because I was afraid they weren't good enough. It's to the point where if I don't think it's good enough, it sort of becomes trash in my mind. Then I see my work a year later and I think to myself "wow, that was kind of good."
This struggle of perfectionism seeps into other parts of my life as well, it just looks a little different. I am often conflicted with whether I am intentionally resting or just being lazy. A lot of the time I feel like if I am not working on something then I am being lazy but really, I'm just tired and I do need to rest. I have become a perfectionist with how I spend my time.
Is this the plight of artists all over the world? When is the assignment complete? How do you stop yourself from editing and re-editing so you can just present your work to the world already? When is it time for you to sit down and take a break? When is enough enough?